It's time for the perculator.
Posted 05-28-08 at 05:31 AM by Gex
It's time...
So I had that internet thing turned on today. I know you've all been waiting with feverish anticipation. Alas, it's 3 in the morning here and past my bed time. In my pre-re-internet boredom at the house I started reading my Sandman comics again. Let me tell ya, those are some awesome comics. I'm just gonna leave it at that.
So I have this huge gold and silver belt buckle with my first initial on it, right. It's huge, so I go out in public with this obnoxious belt jewelry hanging from my pants. I'm that cool, really. But a couple of my buddies think its cool too, so we ghost ride the whip (Best slang ever) to the mall and start searching for belt buckles. The cool kind, not the NRA member "from my cold dead fingers" shit with the rebel flag waving patriotically (cause people still think they won) and hocking loogies (lewgies? you know, slobber balls out of your mouth) on the Mason-Dixon line. So now we've ridden the whip to the mall and patrolled for a kiosk that's not there anymore. I was crushed, and I already have one. I can only imagine how the other guys felt, let alone the millions of my fans that had planned on getting awesome belt buckles soon. Then we were struck. We were in a mall. More than just that little kiosk would have a bitchin' belt buckle for sale, after all, were in the South. A healthy walk through the mall later and we find that, indeed, there are no belt buckles in the mall anymore. But there are $90 t shirts with this Ed Hardy guy's name on them. I do want a pair of the jeans for Thug Thursday, though. But they're more than I'm willing to pay when I already have my gangsta jeans for the holiday.
So, what we've been planning for some time but have yet to initiate are the scheduled dressing for the days of the week. Mormon Mondays, Western Wednesdays, Thug Thursdays, Fratboy/Feauxhawk Fridays. We haven't gotten a Tuesday yet. Gonna pop so many collars on Fridays. Naturally were all going to wait until were all enrolled and attending classes at our local college to do this. Why? I'll tell you why, damnit! Because it's funny.
Holy Moly I can't believe I've forgotten about the most important thing ever. I'm not sure if any of you know that I'm a pretty big hockey fan. I'm really into it too. (see what I did there) So for the off season, my sister, a few friends and I started an air hockey league. That's right, I'm a professional athlete. I'm Roy on Team Waagh!. It's funny, cause the old Colorado goalie, Roy was pronounced waaaa. And my jersey says Roy on it, but it's pronounced rowee while the front of my jersey has a screaming child and Team Waagh! written on it. It just doesn't get old for me. It's amazing, never before-paralleled humor. Well, maybe, but whoever has was probably an asshole.
That's all for tonights broadcast.
Stay classy.
-r
<-- That guy approves.
End Transmission.
So I had that internet thing turned on today. I know you've all been waiting with feverish anticipation. Alas, it's 3 in the morning here and past my bed time. In my pre-re-internet boredom at the house I started reading my Sandman comics again. Let me tell ya, those are some awesome comics. I'm just gonna leave it at that.
So I have this huge gold and silver belt buckle with my first initial on it, right. It's huge, so I go out in public with this obnoxious belt jewelry hanging from my pants. I'm that cool, really. But a couple of my buddies think its cool too, so we ghost ride the whip (Best slang ever) to the mall and start searching for belt buckles. The cool kind, not the NRA member "from my cold dead fingers" shit with the rebel flag waving patriotically (cause people still think they won) and hocking loogies (lewgies? you know, slobber balls out of your mouth) on the Mason-Dixon line. So now we've ridden the whip to the mall and patrolled for a kiosk that's not there anymore. I was crushed, and I already have one. I can only imagine how the other guys felt, let alone the millions of my fans that had planned on getting awesome belt buckles soon. Then we were struck. We were in a mall. More than just that little kiosk would have a bitchin' belt buckle for sale, after all, were in the South. A healthy walk through the mall later and we find that, indeed, there are no belt buckles in the mall anymore. But there are $90 t shirts with this Ed Hardy guy's name on them. I do want a pair of the jeans for Thug Thursday, though. But they're more than I'm willing to pay when I already have my gangsta jeans for the holiday.
So, what we've been planning for some time but have yet to initiate are the scheduled dressing for the days of the week. Mormon Mondays, Western Wednesdays, Thug Thursdays, Fratboy/Feauxhawk Fridays. We haven't gotten a Tuesday yet. Gonna pop so many collars on Fridays. Naturally were all going to wait until were all enrolled and attending classes at our local college to do this. Why? I'll tell you why, damnit! Because it's funny.
Holy Moly I can't believe I've forgotten about the most important thing ever. I'm not sure if any of you know that I'm a pretty big hockey fan. I'm really into it too. (see what I did there) So for the off season, my sister, a few friends and I started an air hockey league. That's right, I'm a professional athlete. I'm Roy on Team Waagh!. It's funny, cause the old Colorado goalie, Roy was pronounced waaaa. And my jersey says Roy on it, but it's pronounced rowee while the front of my jersey has a screaming child and Team Waagh! written on it. It just doesn't get old for me. It's amazing, never before-paralleled humor. Well, maybe, but whoever has was probably an asshole.
That's all for tonights broadcast.
Stay classy.
-r
<-- That guy approves.End Transmission.
Total Comments 0
