i am me(poem)

I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world
But I know I look okay
I know I don't feel confident anymore
So I just fake that I am

I cant handle stress
when stress comes I start to shake
and I cant stop
It starts to hurt really bad

what am I going to do
I promised I wouldn't cut anymore
but I do miss the feeling
the stress just flowing out of me

now I feel like I'm going to cry
why cant I stop
why cant this stop
why wont the pain fade

why cant the bad memories fade away
why did they leave
I loved them
why did they go
why did they die

why did I spend the night
why did those bullies take it too far
why did I sneak out
why didn't I run
why did they have to take my innocence by force

I'm so stressed
everything is piling up
too many classes
I'm so messed up

wait whats that in the dark

Lights oh just look at them
they look amazing

pretty lights just look at them
Whats this they are coming over to me

they have strings on them
the lights are so pretty
Now Im spinning them

wow this is beautiful
Wow I feel beautiful

Now music starts to play and I spin and make designs
My feet are starting to move
I'm dancing with the lights

I feel real

I feel my facade fading away
now the strings are gone
The music plays louder
Louder
The lights are starting to move

I'm moving them

Now I watch my arms move with the lights
My body become one with the beat
Dancing with the lights
Becoming myself behind the trails

Emerging from the lotus
I feel sexy and wild
My body flashes with the light
My mind left behind

This is all passion
this is all impulse
this is all emotion and feeling
all my stress fading away
my mask has been shatterd
this is me
I don't feel fake anymore
This is really me

My body in sinc with the lights and music
Louder and louder it comes
Blasting away all my thought of suicide and death
All my regrets are gone

My past means nothing
My past cannot haunt me anymore
I have found a purpose
I have found the light

God isn't bringing this feeling
This is all me
I am making something of myself
I am not afraid of my past

Let the past run and the future hide
This is now
I am here nothing can stop me
Now I can save me from myself

I AM FREE

I am me

My parents don't have controle
I am me and no one can hurt me

Only I can hurt myself
i'll show you what I'm made of
I am free from my shell called Emma

What you know as Emma is someone of 3

Someone of regret and fear
Depression and anger
someone thats hyper and happy
that's the mask that most of you know
then there is me right now
the real me
the one who is set free
when I play among the lights and read my poetry

but when this poem is done I will no longer be me
I'll be the other two
Damnit right now I'm free
I am me
I can break free

I am Bipolar, I am ADHD
I am dyslexic and OCD
I am suicidal and you can think I'm crazy
But damn it at least I'm not scared to be me