As for your grip, it's all about how it's comfortable for you. The strings I have right now wrap once around my middle finger and once around my index and that's it. I kinda want longer laces, though, but don't want to stretch another pair. ( I got some nice converse cotton laces too, they're comfy)
Spinning 101
This is a great tutorial that covers all the basics.
As for how long it takes to get things down all depends on the individual. Sometimes it just clicks and you learn faster and sometimes you hit a metaphorical wall that takes some time to break down. Just be patient and practice. Spinning is definitely something you have to WANT to do, and for yourself, no one else.
Edit: I remembered watching this one a while back, too. It's a good one.
How do you tie your strings?