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 Okay, so this weekend my parents are taking me to this conference put on by Christians about homosexuality in our kids and all that.  They're taking me because I'm bi and they feel uncomfortable about it.  It was my choice whether or not to go, so it's not like they're forcing me, I just didn't want them to be confused if they say some crap that's untrue.

On to my question now.   Has anyone heard much about, or even been to one of these conferences?  What did you think of it?  Any particular stories you'd like to share?

I'm leaving first thing in the morning, so I don't know if I'll be able to read any of your posts, but I'll for sure read them when I get back.  Thanks everyone in advance. 

oh no! my mother tried to put me in church therapy when she found out I was into the ladies. I always considered myself not gender biased yet I do tend to lean more towards women... : )



I have never been to a conference like this but the church therapy is close enough. Just don't let anyone else shape who you are. It's okay to be this way... It's okay to think for yourself. Bisexuality has been happening since people were able to document things so it's kinda old news.



Do a little research on your own about the subject. There is a lot of material in helping parents cope with their child's sexuality. My mom found this website by christians that actually helped her accept who I was. Now she loves my partner and proudly states that I'm gay... or whatever... (this did take like 8 years tho)



Good luck!

Well, I've never been to a conference like this, but my assumptions would be that it'll likely be a lot of Christian propaganda, attempted mind-warping/brainwashing and utter BS (just my opinion/prediction based on my knowledge of Christianity and their views on homosexuality). Honestly, your attractions to people are NOT something that can be forced to change or even have you be 'convinced' to think otherwise....you're still gonna have the same thoughts/urges regardless....so be who you are and don't lie to yourself/others. Maybe that's just my view, but that's how I feel on the matter (kinda biased, though, being of the 'not-so-straight' persuasion LOL).

And for the record, I find it HILARIOUSLY contradictive that the conference is called 'Love Won Out' when what they're doing is trying to convince you NOT to follow your true desires to love others and follow heterosexual guidelines. They should either put a disclaimer on there like 'Love Won Out (but only if it's for the opposite sex)' or change the name to 'Christian Propaganda Won Out.' LMFAO!

Regardless of what your sexual orientation/feelings are, I support you 100%....and I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything like that.

sigh...

seriously lol

i am pretty upset by the way christians handle that sort of situation..ugh..

Honestly, my dad and I have never had a real conversation about my sexual preferences (I have always identified as bi, basically since I had a word for it.)  As far as the conference goes...I think the best thing you can do is listen to what they have to say, so that when your folks want to talk about it you can be informed and deal with their concerns logically and with respect for their way of trying to communicate their feelings to you.

I'm glad that they're taking you to a conference and not just flipping out.  I've had a couple of friends go through that and it isn't anything I would wish on anyone.

Since they seem to be at least moderately open-minded about this, you might try getting in touch with your local GLBT center - they often have support groups for both individuals who are out/questioning and for the families of those folks.  If you don't have any luck there, or even if you do, check out PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays).  Here's the link to the homepage.  There's all kinds of resources there, for both you and your folks. 

And here's the arguement that finally won over my grandmother - she and I had long, intense discussions for years about homosexuality.  She was a very religious woman, and had a very difficult time with the concept of homosexuality in relationship to what she knew and read in the Bible.  At one point, I finally said to her, " Look, Grandma.  You believe that God made all of us the way that we are for a very special set of reasons, and our duty as individuals is to live the life we are given, even if we don't always understand why things are the way they are, right?  Why would gay people be any different than anoyone else?"  She hung up on me.  A week later she called me and said that she had decided that I was right.  She never became totally comfortable with the whole thing, but she did become comfortable enough that she could see people as people, rather than their sexual preferences.  Hang in there, give your folks some time.  We're here if you need to talk

Agreex10 lol. love won out..that's just a ridiculous name!
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So I got back a few hours ago from the conference.  Before I start my description though, I have to make a comment on LRB's post about the name.  Although that comment was funny as hell, the love they refer to was GOD's love.   Yeah.....

Anyways, I went into this conference with a horrible attitude towards it.  I had read some stuff online, mostly by the gay community, and all that they had to say was that it was horrible, and just tried to change you while preaching at you telling you you're going to hell kind of stuff.  As much as I heard that, to be honest, it's completely bogus.

Not a single person tried to preach at me.  Not one, and I even had some pretty intense discussions with some of the speakers there.  They didn't agree with the common Christian opinion that homosexuality is a choice, but rather that it comes about from a psychological effect from how the particular person views situations when they were younger.  How they interacted with their parents, how the parents interacted with each other, how the parents interacted with siblings, how they interacted with siblings, etc.  That alone changed my entire mood towards it, because I was thinking that they would compare it to a cake sitting there, and you have the choice to eat it or whatever, like someone has told me before.

They do preach that it is possible to change, (all the speakers were so called ex-gays in fact), but they don't try to force you.  They never even used the word "change" except for saying that they weren't going to try to change anyone.  How they described it however, is that homosexuality is a sexual sin, like cheating on your wife, or sex before marriage, and that you just need to resist the temptation, and put it to God to handle.  Similar to how my mom quit smoking I guess.  In time, those desires will lesson to be almost non-existent, and eventually you may discover that little nugget of attraction towards the opposite sex.  Granted that doesn't happen for everyone, but let's face it, no one is 100% straight, or 100% gay, no matter how much you think you are.  Most people lean towards one side or the other, but aren't all the way over.

Mostly this was for the parents, trying to cope with their childen being GLBT, but there were a good ammount of kids there.  Surprisingly out of the 50 or so youth, (ages 15-25), I was the only one there not seeking a change in myself.  Many of these kids were devout Christians, or had been previously, that had tried, and failed, to put this sin to God and hold it back.  A lot of them came without their parents even.  I felt pretty out of place just going there for my parent's benefit.

To me, the trip down there was worth it, as my parents are now accepting of who I am.  They still don't like my bisexuality, but they accept it as part of me and love me regardless.  Which is much better than how it was before where I couldn't get through a conversation with my mom without her getting mad at me randomly.  Was I tried to be "changed"?  No.  Was anyone forced to try and change?  No.  Was it anything like what the propaganda you generally hear that the Christians put out, or that they gay community say about it?  Not at all.

If you have a Christian friend that's struggling with same sex attractions and WANTS to try and stop it, send them.  If you have Christian parents or family members that think you're a horrible person for being GLBT, send them too.  I really think that it would help them.

That's pretty much all I have to say.  Thanks for your comments everyone.  (BTW:  I still am bi, and proud of it! )

I am SO glad that this went well for you. Hooray for improving relationships with parents:)

Oh for sure. I actually think that our relationship is better now than it ever has been. Even before I came out to them.

EDIT:  I just realized that I broke 200 posts, yay for me!

Oh yeah....I've been telling people this forever!  Some people totally agree, but others totally do NOT (quite adamantly, in fact)....but typically these are the people who are just in denial of their own sexuality and urges/thoughts.

I'm glad you weren't preached at and fed bogus propeganda.  Hopefully you got something positive out of it.

PS...on an unrelated note, I probably woulda tryed to hook up with someone at the conference just so I can say I hooked up with someone of the same sex at an anti-homosexuality Christian conference!  LMFAO...but maybe that's just me.

Believe me LRB, I tried..... unfortunately there were only 4 people including me in the youth track part that weren't there because they wanted to suppress their urges themselves. One of the others was there because their fiance just told her that he was gay, and was pretty depressed at that time, not cool to take advantage of them you know?



The other two were lesbians.... so there was no hope....

LMFAO...well, good on ya for trying, anyway. I probably would have tried to play off (or better worded 'prey on') the 'temptation' card. Who's that knocking at the door...temptation! LOL.

Good thought, but if they're actually wanting to surpress their urges to the point to where they may be celibate for the rest of their lives and they're okay with that, I support them in that. Don't like that they're trying to surpress it, but it's their choice and they feel strongly in it. I'm not going to try and break that down.

Yeah, I was joking anyway....and I'm not that much of a whore anyway LOL. I respect their dedication, but honestly, suppressing what makes you who you are is kinda being fake, in a way, IMO.