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How to deal with unsupportive parents


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#1 A2ianpride

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 08:28 AM EST


Hi guys I'm fresh to the scene and mom isn't showing any love, my dad supports me, but my mom is sticking her foot in my ass, how do I deal with it? didn't quite make me happy when she tore up my Raver's manifesto... I treat that thing like a bible.



#2 XxStarDreamsxX

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 09:53 AM EST


My mom and dad supported me not matter what i did- (sometimes sounds bad i know)- my aunt still supports me and me tryign to find a scene around here- shes a TRUE hippy- im even actually getting her hippy vest when my mom goes up there for the race in august shes getting it from my aunt! =D im so exicted about it! =D

Raver is a hiippy just in new form =D

try to explain to her how times have changed from hippies to now- and how you're there for the music and all.. usually that works. it worked for me =D



#3 LilRaverBoi

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 12:01 PM EST


First off...welcome to the site! I think you'll enjoy it here....it's great! Now, to answer your question of unsupportive parents: Well, mine have always been pretty unsupportive (meaning they don't really care to see my glowsticking/fire spinning, or hear about parties, etc) but they were never destructive of my lifestyle. Your mom sounds like she is a bit destructive toward yours. However, I believe that she probably tore up your Raver's Manifesto because it is totally laden with drug references. She probably believes you are doing a bunch of drugs (not sure if you are or if this is true, just my best guess). My best advice is to talk to her about it....communicate to her that the reason you are a part of the scene is the music and the people, not drugs (and inform her that you are not doing them). This should help, but I can't really say for sure. I have talked to my parents in detail (at least my mom) about the rave scene and what it means to me....not sure if they care, but they listen and hear me out. I think they now realize why I do what I do, and are at least slightly more supportive.

ENJOY GENXGLOW!!



#4 Violetweasel

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 01:21 PM EST


Hi guys I'm fresh to the scene and mom isn't showing any love, my dad supports me, but my mom is sticking her foot in my ass, how do I deal with it? didn't quite make me happy when she tore up my Raver's manifesto... I treat that thing like a bible.
Hi there hon and welcome to GxG!!!These guys really are the best and you're gonna love it here x x x
Well, I read your post and it got me thinking. I am an older raver...perhaps the oldest on the forum!! I have been a raver since the very beginning (which makes me a 'respectable' 35 years old...and I have a son who is a teenager and a seven year old daughter. Lucky for me they are both as insane as I am...I think it would be pretty difficult to rebel against me!!! lol! Although - I have to say - I do have their very best interests and safety at heart. I love to share with them the side of our culture which involves fooling around with glowsticks, dancing and making kandi, but there is a side to my life they know nothing about...what I get up to in the wee small hours...you get the picture!
There's no way I would give my kids carte blanche to go out there without me knowing where they were, what they were doing and all that. As regards booze and 'stuff'...I would hope they feel they can come to me and talk about anything. I think I would rather they were safe in their own home whilst they indulge in...well, what ever they wanted to ingulge in!
Ok. Enough about me!!! What about your life? Why do you think your parents tore up your manifesto...did they read it first? Apart from that, how has your relationship with your parents been? I'm not trying to psychoanalyse you...just trying to get a better picture of what's going on, that's all. Perhaps, from a crusty old fart's perspective, I might be able to help. Loads of love, and RAVE ON!!!!
Big hugs and love, from Violet x x x x



#5 DJEezergud

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 03:19 PM EST


Violet u are a lovely lady and far from a crusty old fart :D

Not to sound to deppresing tho but in my experience with dealing with parents *and my interests have always been outside the norm so ive have many disscussions when i was younger with my parents about what i was up to and in to and generally they didnt support me in them* Theres really no way to change there mind most of the time there set and u can talk to your about ready to pass out and theyll nod there head and say.well i see where your coming from but!...and go on like thy didnt hear a word you said *at least my parents lol* i dont know how old ya are? but i think parents have a rough time dealing with it when there kid starts becoming a individual and thinks and feels for themselves. i urge you tho dont go the same road i did. i burned alot of bridges and my parents and brother still constantly look at me like i have something to hide and im sneaking around. oh well..fuck em...and thats the attitude that got me into so much trouble in the first place :P



#6 SmileBeyotch

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 03:34 PM EST


I've always been the one supporting my family, Emotionally, AND Financially... While my parents were off getting fucked up, I was working.... Paying bills... So what they said really didnt matter to me... The only real advice I can give you... is to do what makes you happy... I dont care what anyone says, The ultimate goal in life is happiness, and if your parents are going to be a roadblock in your way to that goal, then you need to do something about it. Get into the culture, do waht you have to do... your parents wont like it, i can guarantee you that... but talk to them about it after you have been in the scene for a while... Let them know that you are a strong individual who is capable of handling yourself. Let them know that you are being safe. Show them that you can join the culture, that is constantly being discriminated against and defamed, without dropping to the level of those fucked up kids they saw on T.V. that one time.



#7 DJEezergud

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 03:36 PM EST


nicely put smiley cheers :D



#8 SmileBeyotch

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 03:38 PM EST


smiley cheers!?!?!?!?
:clap:
hooray ^_^



#9 kinkstar

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 06:44 PM EST


Well im not gonna say much cuz i am in the same boat as SMILE up there. BUt he is right its all about makin urself happy and doin things of that nature. If you like where ur at stay there and do what makes you the person u are. But on the parents thing just always tell them kinda whats goin on where ur goin and most of the time they will be alright as long as ur not gettin in trouble and tellin them the truth most of the time.



#10 A2ianpride

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 10:41 PM EST


Wow, Thanks guys, I knew that quite a few people have to dealwith fucked up parents, mine are good and all, but some topics are sensative, like my beliefs. I'm sure everyone is aware of the not so good reputation we have because we don't neccessarily agree with authority, but I don't think that's the case. I think she wants me to believe more in her beliefs. One shes catholic, I'm not, I was baptized, but I had no say so in it. So when I go on about gay rights... things get rowdy. I love her and all, but I don't like the way the world is, so I became a Raver. It isn't a naive idea, its true! We can and have changed the world.



#11 DJEezergud

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 10:44 PM EST


Dude my mom still cant accept the fact that im a atheist
she had me talk to a minister today cuz and i quote "i know you have alot of questions so i think u should talk to him to help you in your search"
im not searching...lol



#12 JustWiggle

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Posted 25 June 2008 - 11:02 PM EST


well talking to someone mighht be ok, in the sense that hearing all the bull rambled on might strengthen your convictions, just get a laugh out of it. either way just do your thing, live the way you want to live. dont force your thoughts on anyone else, nobody likes a hypocrit, but at the same time all is better if you show people why you think the way you do. dealing with being different just makes you stronger. individuality....

i love it



#13 A2ianpride

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Posted 26 June 2008 - 08:34 AM EST


sounds nice, even better knowing your not alone. Thanks guys, makes dealing with the bull of this world much easier. LoL, maybe thing will be easier once im 18 and literitally free.



#14 LilRaverBoi

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Posted 26 June 2008 - 01:06 PM EST


Wow, Thanks guys, I knew that quite a few people have to dealwith fucked up parents, mine are good and all, but some topics are sensative, like my beliefs. I'm sure everyone is aware of the not so good reputation we have because we don't neccessarily agree with authority, but I don't think that's the case. I think she wants me to believe more in her beliefs. One shes catholic, I'm not, I was baptized, but I had no say so in it. So when I go on about gay rights... things get rowdy. I love her and all, but I don't like the way the world is, so I became a Raver. It isn't a naive idea, its true! We can and have changed the world.
Yeah, some topics will always be more controversial. Yeah, my parents are both catholic and I'm not anymore....never really was so much, just kinda going through the motions of it all cause that's what they wanted. They've learned to deal with it, though. I'm old enough to make my own decisions. Oh, and YAY for gay rights!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!:bananadoggywow::shakehands:



#15 DJEezergud

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Posted 26 June 2008 - 01:09 PM EST


Yeah, some topics will always be more controversial. Yeah, my parents are both catholic and I'm not anymore....never really was so much, just kinda going through the motions of it all cause that's what they wanted. They've learned to deal with it, though. I'm old enough to make my own decisions. Oh, and YAY for gay rights!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!:bananadoggywow::shakehands:
Yay for gay rights AND for gay marriage whooo ...im not gay but i totally could be..just the idea of haven a man around the house i could finally get some things done.....*is that a bad joke.its not mine its daniel tosh's lol*



#16 SmileBeyotch

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Posted 26 June 2008 - 02:19 PM EST


Lol i freakin love you guys! I'm a proud Bisexual =P

It makes me smile knowing that you guys are behind gay rights ^_^



#17 A2ianpride

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Posted 27 June 2008 - 12:42 AM EST


Of course we support gay rights! No law should impede love, thats inhumane to prevent something so great from coming to be. We will fight to make gays as equeal before the law as anyone else. We even have gays serveing and dieing in the military and for what?! You people deserve what should have always been yours. When i spout things like that, my mom must get pissed, and I think she feels bad about it, her child is makeing her doubt what she has believed for decades, humilating.



#18 DJEezergud

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Posted 27 June 2008 - 02:50 AM EST


i look at it like this..if you care who someone has sex with in the privacy of there own home or love hotel..you have waaay to much time on yer hands.
also i wont lie ive been hit on by gay dudes before and yanno what? makes me feel awsome..anytime i can be a part of someones sexual fantasy im a happy guy! lol



#19 LilRaverBoi

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Posted 27 June 2008 - 03:31 AM EST


Yeah, all ravers should support gay rights/marriage if they truly believe in PLUR....CA just recently made gay marriage legal! Awww ye-ah!! The world is becoming much more accepting of this and it ROCKS!



#20 kinkstar

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Posted 27 June 2008 - 06:30 AM EST


Thats whats wrong with the world and has always been a problem. Everybody takes the bible as the only way to live and looks down on people that dont live by it. Then there are the people that dont live by it but still dont like the whole gay marriage thing and it doesnt make sense that they go by the way of the bible. I believe that you can do what ever u need to in order to make urself happy in this messed up world. i have more to say on this but i will post later. work is important to me right now.